Musing of an immature person

First before you read this, realize you are reading the thoughts of an emotionally and intellectually immature person.  Yup! I still giggle at fart jokes and anything potty related.  I guess I'm still waiting for the maturity to kick in.

So, I was watching a show the other night on tv about setting your farts on fire.  It was a myth busters type of show. They wanted to prove/disprove the ass flame events we've all heard the frat boys participate in.

First, you need to produce methane to make a flame.  Not all farts, only one in four!! actually produce methane.  Imagine that?  Someone collected samples-and you thought you had a messed up job!!!  I guess that rates up there with the arm pit sniffers! 

They did a "study" of what makes methane.  Four guys-of course, girls fart but not in public!!  One had red meat, one vegetarian meal, beans (of course!!) and I forget what the fourth guy ate.   Then they went behind a screen-with a back light so we could enjoy the silhouette,  where the subject drops their drawers, bends over, farts-yes, with sound effects, into a vacuum tube.  The collection was then tested for gas identification.  

The meat eater-no methane

The BEAN EATER-no methane and less odor!  Just bigger noise!!  It is the musical fruit! ha-see, immature..

The salad eater-vegetarian, he stunk and made methane.  The only one of the four that had a really foul odor and made the gas.  They figured that we weren't meant to eat all of this grass and it was harder to digest.   The salad eater was the only one able to start a fire with their butt.

Now-my theory, being a vegetarian is bad for the atmosphere.  Little holes in the ozone from methane gas.  Each time a vegetarian farts they're sending off offensive smells and gases into the world and aiding in the global warming. 

Steaks for everyone!

PS-this is just silly thinking aloud, keep eating those greens!