Finding empathy

Usually when something happens, I think there's a reason for it. This time, my family is getting exhausted, doing all the things I do on a daily basis. Here I've been doing them while ill, for probably more than a year. They found a few problems this month that I didn't even notice were wrong. From the other side, I am now looking at my daughter with very different eyes. Being laid up for almost a month has been huge. My life is out of control, I'm in constant pain, I have no energy, everything, every little thing, going to the bathroom, is a chore. Today, once again, I spent another hour on the phone trying to get another medicine. The insurance company has shut down my account saying I'm behind in payments. They cashed the check and we all have the information, but the insurance still has a hold on my account. Each time at the pharmacy it comes up as unpaid and not to release the meds. They're holding my meds hostage. Embarrassing and not true. I ended up back in the hospital last week, I couldn't get the meds I needed, went back to the ER-another $150 to check in. I'm so exhausted fighting them, going on hold when all I want to do is sleep. Molly does this several times a week for herself and she always feels like hell. Sometimes, I get frustrated with her, for staying in bed or sleeping late or not being quick enough with getting something done. I'm hoping this experience doesn't fade from my memory once I'm off the drugs. I want to remember to be more patient with her, more proud of her for all she does do, while feeling so awful every single day of her life. I have a whole new view of my daughter, I'm sorry it took this for the insight. This doesn't mean I didn't love her before, I just had no idea the level she was actually working at. I adore my daughter, but now I have more empathy for her too. Molly was my gift when she was born although she always thinks I regret her-never once, ever.
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